Colin Powell’s Seatbelt

Megan was engaged in the superhuman task of trying to get the kids into their car seats to go to the mall.

Mykah, being the independant 4 year old he is, wouldn’t let Megan put on his seatbelt… he wanted to do it himself.

He was crying and carrying on.  It was an awesome battle with pre-emptive strikes, regluar strikes, and counter strikes… It was EPIC.

Then,  just when you thought that the battle seemed to be all but lost, in comes the calvary.

Ayden from the next seat pipes up and says. “There are no secrets to success.  It is the result of hard work, preparation and learning from failure”.

Mykah stopped.

Megan stopped.

“Who in the world invited Colin Powell to the mall?”

Apparently the MOM calendar that I bought Megan last Christmas has famous quotes and Ayden apparently was just waiting for the right opportunity to drop a Colin Powell Bomb.

Either way, Ayden won, the war was over, and we didn’t actually find any weapons of mass destruction.

Is a Smurf’s Butt Blue?

Last night Gramie made a nice dessert for after dinner.

It had chocolate,

Cakey-stuff,

And whip Cream.

At one point during the dinner Megan asks Ayden “Are you gonna eat your dessert”… I think the little girl was hungry.

Ayden responded with… “Is a Smurf’s Butt Blue?”.

Then we all bust out laughing… I think I peed a little.

Then he says “That joke never gets old”.

That’s when I really peed.

Are You Hungry little fella?

When I was growing up we had a saying,

Yo Mama Don’t Feed Ya?.

Being the young Ghetto children that we were, we were always trying to scrounge food off each other.

In the cafeteria it became a game to see who could scruff up the most money to by a Beef patty… ketchup and all.

Megan decides one afternoon to make brownies with the boys. Now I’m not sure if they had pre-arranged agreement or if it was just assumed that they were going to help her but were disqualified from enjoying them. either way, I stroll into the kitchen and find this…

It

YO MAMA DON’T FEED YA???

I wanna be like?

Last night Ayden showed us this joke that his friend at school showed him.

I’m not gonna repeat it here but it had to do with eye shape and certain cultures.

Now I remember such jokes… but I grew up in Scarborough…. he has no excuses.

This morning he asked about it again… he didn’t get it that making fun of someone’s looks was a bad thing. Luckily Megan, the queen of etiquette was there. She simply said that the joke was in bad taste and would make people feel bad. She said “it’s not a nice person who makes fun of the way people look, you don’t wanna be that guy do you?”

Contritely, he looks down into his lap and says, “you’re right. I don’t wanna be that.

Then he suddenly looks up excitedly, points and says;

“I wanna be THAT kinda guy “

I think I got whiplash trying to figure out who was behind me and how this seemingly “noble” person snuck into my house without my ninja-sense tingling…

Then I realized he was talking about me. There is something powerful that happens when you’re kids want to be like you. It was an especially poignant moment considering I didn’t have a father to look up to.

I guess I’ll keep the illusion going and not mention all the inappropriate jokes we used to tell in Scarborough.

“what he doesn’t know, makes me look good”

Would You Rather?

This Is More Important Than A Well Made Bed.

I’m kinda anal…

Not the bad way, but in the good way.

In the way that all people refer to their condition as “don’t you want it done right”.

Megan hates it when I repack the dishwasher… “don’t you want it done right”…

So I walk into my bedroom and find the boys doing back flips on my bed with the pillows as the spring board..

I say “hey are you guys messing up my bed”…

To which the older child responds, without missing a beat,

Daddy would you rather have a nice queen size bed

or two children?

First of all It’s a “KING” size bed, which we actually bought to fit the whole family on, but that’s beside the point.

And second of all, as to which one I’d rather have…

Let me sleep on it.

School’s In

Thumbs up for the first day of school

Today was the first day of school… I swear I heard the angels from on high singing.

Hallelujah.

With a collective sigh of relief, parents around the GTA are rejoicing because even though for their children it’s the beginning, for parents it’s now the end.

End of trying to entertain our kids…

End of “Mommy, I’m bored…”

End of everyday all-day video game marathons…

But as I found out this morning, it’s also the end of hanging with my boys every day.

As soon as we hit the playground, Ayden saw his friends and effectively, it was the “end of his parents.”  We didn’t exist any more.  And for the first time in 4 years of education, he didn’t give us a hug or kiss good bye… (Megan had to comfort me and wipe away my tears.)

However, not all was lost.  We started a tradition as soon as our kids started school that I got from an old friend who used to be a DJ and really likes tie-dye.

Have a blessed day

There is a path on the way to school.  As we walk though it we pray for our kids.  Often when  our kids head to school, the last thing they hear from their parents is a list of what they’ve done wrong, or forgotten or how they’re going to be late, which may also include yelling raised voices or general disdain.  A bunch of negative things which in the end can only be called curses.  So instead we try to do something different, we bless them.  That way the last thing they hear before they enter the scholastic battle field is an encouragement from those who love them most.  How could they then not succeed.

They say that breakfast is the most important precursor to a child’s success in school, but I figure if they sleep in and miss the cheerio buffet, at least they have a blessing to hold them over.

Thumbs up for the first day of school

Bikini Bottom.

We went to Sibbald point today to go swimming and hang out at the beach.  I love the beach… not because I need a tan or anything… being black and all–I’m not so into sleeping under the noonday sun…

The reason I love it is cause you get to see so many interesting and weird people.  Like the elderly couple who were putting sun screen on like they were basting a turkey.  Honestly they so completely covered themselves that they turned white… and they were already white.  Or the family that showed up with an inflatable boat that had a 20lb anchor attached to it… or the yuppie couple with the puppy that looked like they were trying to hide it but not really…

At the end of the day, I’m walking Ayden to the bathroom and he turns to me and says, “Daddy, why do some people wear bikinis?” Just the day before we were in the mall and he saw a sign that said Bikini Village…  he was so excited but when he walked up and showed his disappointment, I think he thought it was “bikini bottom” from sponge bob.  I  knew that little yellow Porifera was good for nothing.

Anyways… what do I say… “well it’s due to the MTV-ization of our culture when we sell anatomically incorrect dolls to 3 year olds, have beauty pageants for 4 year olds and anyone from five to 50, we inundate with magazines, advertising, commercials and billboards which proliferate the idea that you need to show some skin to feel significant, even if you have a significant amount of skin which should stay hidden.

Instead I talked about culture and how different cultures view the body, some value immodesty or “not” modest in 7 year old speak, while others value modesty or not showing of their bodies.

There were a few muslim women there who went swimming, basically fully clothed.  I said “They value their bodies and don’t wear bikinis.”

I’m not sure if he got it.  I’m not sure how he processed what he saw, I’m not sure he got past the fact that unmodest isn’t a word but  he definitely noticed it.  He’s 7 and he noticed it.  I can only assume it was because Megan and my niece weren’t wearing bikinis and something didn’t feel right about the fact that most others were.

Either way he did notice it… and not just cause that’s his last name…

Piano boys

Ok I got to brag again about Ayden’s piano program.
It’s rocks… in a way that boys who play by ponds and pick up stones to throw at each other kind of rocks.

It’s called SimplyMusic.  I’m not going to get into the fact that they use patterns to teach kids complicated pieces, or that Ayden can play probably 30 songs off the top of his head, or that the program stays away from the boring classical pieces like a jr high boy stays away from acne… (ok not sure if that one actually works).

But here’s why I think it’s great.

They dress funny.

Yes that really is his teacher

They dance when they play

Teamwork

And when they don’t know something, more often than not, the teacher doesn’t help them, the other boys do.  Which makes me wonder what we’re paying her for, but I’ll let that go.

In a world of ADD and ADHD and LMNOP, it’s wonderful to see a system where boys specifically can learn in a manner that doesn’t diminish the fact that they’re high energy, but rather celebrates it.

Also I think he likes it because as soon as practice is over, they tear out of the house and play tag on the front lawn.

You're it... in F#.

Watch For God!?

A few weeks ago, we had a summer camp at our church… that’s the event previously known as VBS or (Vacation Bible School)

We decided to change the name cause, well, vacation is kinda irrelevant and the whole Bible school part is so 1950′s and we really wanted to allow all people to feel welcome whether or not you were on vacation, or like the Bible or were psyched about school.

Anyway, during the summer camp, each kid got a bracelet which said “Watch For God.  I was a leader on the program so I totally stole a bracelet because I thought it was a great reminder for myself to watch for God and possibly would be a great conversation starter if someone noticed the bracelet.

I'll Be Watching You

Last week I was taking Ayden to soccer practice and from the back seat he says, “Daddy I think I should take my bracelet off.”

I knew it was coming… “Why Ayden, it is because it says Watch For God on it?”

He replied “Yes.”

“Why do you think that’s a problem?”

“Because people might make fun of me.”

Bam it hit me….  how do you answer that question?  Ayden’s 7 years old.  For the past 3 years, he has loved God incessantly.  He’s talked to friends about God.  He’s invited them to church.  He’s done it all with this great childlike passion for who God really is.  Now the fear comes.  When I was growing up, I was the same way.  I loved God but was very scared about what other people thought about it.  I would take my Bible to church every time I went, but then I’d hide it in my jacket so no one would see it, whatever happened to being young and invincible?

Unfortunately, I didn’t have anyone to encourange me at the point, and it wasn’t until high school that I finally got over my fear.  So we continued the conversation.

“Ayden, it is because you’re embarrased about God?”

“Maybe a little.”

“So what would happen if you gave me a bracelet and then I was embarassed about it and took it off, how would you feel?”

Then to my chagrin he replied “That would be alright”… Doh…. wrong answer.

So then I said, “What would happen if someone came up to me and said ‘Hey! Is that Ayden your son over there?’ and I said ‘No, I don’t know who that kid is, but he is kinda cute’, would that make you feel good or bad?”  ”Bad” he said.

Then I realized an important distinction… There is a difference between who you love and how you adorn yourself.   I don’t think Ayden’s love for God is in any way dimished, the bracelets you wear don’t define you.   But one thing I will try to instill in him is this idea that if you love God, love him fully and completely with no reservations.  Don’t hold back, never be embarassed, never be ashamed.  Most times people will respect your faith cause more often then not, even though they don’t admit it, they’re watching for God as well.

Proof

We went on vacation last week and checked out Horseshoe Valley’s new Adventure Zone.

It was a pretty sweet, if not pricey deal.  And by the end of the day I had all the proof I needed

that the kids really do drive Megan up the wall…

"They're driving me up the wall"