The Long Way Home

Today it was 8 degrees.

8 degress celsius.

8 degrees celsius above zero

8 degrees celsius above zero in January.

We live roughly 764 meters from the school that the boys attend,  so be the math wizard I am I crunched the numbers and thought, It would be a great ROI to walk home from school.  However it is January and there was lots of water and puddles so I had only one stipulation on walking home, they had to jump in every single puddle they saw…

 

At first you can see their apprehension…

“Did Daddy really say that?”

“Is he just trying to get us in trouble?”,

“Are there sharks in this puddle?”

Then it finally clicks.  They can’t resist the innate magnitism of a beautiful undisturbed puddle.

There are two morals to this soggy tail;

Kids, the moral of the story is be obedient and obey your parents and sometimes they’ll let you wet your pants.

Parents, the moral for you is, as long as your kids are obedient, its ok for them to wet their pants.

Colin Powell’s Seatbelt

Megan was engaged in the superhuman task of trying to get the kids into their car seats to go to the mall.

Mykah, being the independant 4 year old he is, wouldn’t let Megan put on his seatbelt… he wanted to do it himself.

He was crying and carrying on.  It was an awesome battle with pre-emptive strikes, regluar strikes, and counter strikes… It was EPIC.

Then,  just when you thought that the battle seemed to be all but lost, in comes the calvary.

Ayden from the next seat pipes up and says. “There are no secrets to success.  It is the result of hard work, preparation and learning from failure”.

Mykah stopped.

Megan stopped.

“Who in the world invited Colin Powell to the mall?”

Apparently the MOM calendar that I bought Megan last Christmas has famous quotes and Ayden apparently was just waiting for the right opportunity to drop a Colin Powell Bomb.

Either way, Ayden won, the war was over, and we didn’t actually find any weapons of mass destruction.

Is a Smurf’s Butt Blue?

Last night Gramie made a nice dessert for after dinner.

It had chocolate,

Cakey-stuff,

And whip Cream.

At one point during the dinner Megan asks Ayden “Are you gonna eat your dessert”… I think the little girl was hungry.

Ayden responded with… “Is a Smurf’s Butt Blue?”.

Then we all bust out laughing… I think I peed a little.

Then he says “That joke never gets old”.

That’s when I really peed.

Are You Hungry little fella?

When I was growing up we had a saying,

Yo Mama Don’t Feed Ya?.

Being the young Ghetto children that we were, we were always trying to scrounge food off each other.

In the cafeteria it became a game to see who could scruff up the most money to by a Beef patty… ketchup and all.

Megan decides one afternoon to make brownies with the boys. Now I’m not sure if they had pre-arranged agreement or if it was just assumed that they were going to help her but were disqualified from enjoying them. either way, I stroll into the kitchen and find this…

It

YO MAMA DON’T FEED YA???

I wanna be like?

Last night Ayden showed us this joke that his friend at school showed him.

I’m not gonna repeat it here but it had to do with eye shape and certain cultures.

Now I remember such jokes… but I grew up in Scarborough…. he has no excuses.

This morning he asked about it again… he didn’t get it that making fun of someone’s looks was a bad thing. Luckily Megan, the queen of etiquette was there. She simply said that the joke was in bad taste and would make people feel bad. She said “it’s not a nice person who makes fun of the way people look, you don’t wanna be that guy do you?”

Contritely, he looks down into his lap and says, “you’re right. I don’t wanna be that.

Then he suddenly looks up excitedly, points and says;

“I wanna be THAT kinda guy “

I think I got whiplash trying to figure out who was behind me and how this seemingly “noble” person snuck into my house without my ninja-sense tingling…

Then I realized he was talking about me. There is something powerful that happens when you’re kids want to be like you. It was an especially poignant moment considering I didn’t have a father to look up to.

I guess I’ll keep the illusion going and not mention all the inappropriate jokes we used to tell in Scarborough.

“what he doesn’t know, makes me look good”

Would You Rather?

This Is More Important Than A Well Made Bed.

I’m kinda anal…

Not the bad way, but in the good way.

In the way that all people refer to their condition as “don’t you want it done right”.

Megan hates it when I repack the dishwasher… “don’t you want it done right”…

So I walk into my bedroom and find the boys doing back flips on my bed with the pillows as the spring board..

I say “hey are you guys messing up my bed”…

To which the older child responds, without missing a beat,

Daddy would you rather have a nice queen size bed

or two children?

First of all It’s a “KING” size bed, which we actually bought to fit the whole family on, but that’s beside the point.

And second of all, as to which one I’d rather have…

Let me sleep on it.

School’s In

Thumbs up for the first day of school

Today was the first day of school… I swear I heard the angels from on high singing.

Hallelujah.

With a collective sigh of relief, parents around the GTA are rejoicing because even though for their children it’s the beginning, for parents it’s now the end.

End of trying to entertain our kids…

End of “Mommy, I’m bored…”

End of everyday all-day video game marathons…

But as I found out this morning, it’s also the end of hanging with my boys every day.

As soon as we hit the playground, Ayden saw his friends and effectively, it was the “end of his parents.”  We didn’t exist any more.  And for the first time in 4 years of education, he didn’t give us a hug or kiss good bye… (Megan had to comfort me and wipe away my tears.)

However, not all was lost.  We started a tradition as soon as our kids started school that I got from an old friend who used to be a DJ and really likes tie-dye.

Have a blessed day

There is a path on the way to school.  As we walk though it we pray for our kids.  Often when  our kids head to school, the last thing they hear from their parents is a list of what they’ve done wrong, or forgotten or how they’re going to be late, which may also include yelling raised voices or general disdain.  A bunch of negative things which in the end can only be called curses.  So instead we try to do something different, we bless them.  That way the last thing they hear before they enter the scholastic battle field is an encouragement from those who love them most.  How could they then not succeed.

They say that breakfast is the most important precursor to a child’s success in school, but I figure if they sleep in and miss the cheerio buffet, at least they have a blessing to hold them over.

Thumbs up for the first day of school